Whoever you are, and whatever you’re trying to achieve, chances are this though is familiar:
I’m not good enough. I’m never gonna make it.
How often do you tell yourself shit like that? Once a month? Couple of times a week? Every waking moment? Whatever it might be, I feel you.
But let’s imagine you are one of those influential, universally celebrated people from human history. You’ve brought peace to this world, made remarkable contributions to science, cured diseases, or created astonishing works of art. Wherever you go, society has erected monuments to commemorate your accomplishments. Life-sized statues, buildings named after you, national holidays in your honor.
Imagine that’s you. Do you think you’d listen to this fucked up self-talk if everyone else praises your mere existence, erecting monuments wherever you go? At some point, you’ll begin to doubt your inner critic. Someone is full of shit here. Either it’s this nagging voice inside your head, or it’s literally everyone else. Which option is more likely?
Good news: You don’t have to be famous. You can build your own monuments. That high school diploma? Hang it on the wall. Photos from a speech you’ve given a few years ago? Same. Even if you feel small and insignificant, there’s got to be things you’re proud of. Or could be proud of. Surround yourself with as many external reminders of how awesome you are as possible. Especially the small stuff counts. And if you still have no idea: Roll up those sleeves and clean up your place. You’ll notice it tomorrow, and you’ll be proud.
One time I built a kitchen from scratch, and every time I prepare a meal in it, I remember the struggle and the shitload of hard work. And in those moments, even my inner critic has to admit “ok, that thing you did was kinda impressive. Pretty sure you still suck, but maybe a little less than I keep telling you...”.The goal obviously isn’t to collect and display them for fun or to give you an inflated ego. You shouldn’t need them to feel good about yourself. You should be proud and confident by default. But many of us aren’t. Maybe you’ve been ignored too many times. Never had anyone believe in you. Were bullied, mistreated, and abused at vulnerable moments in your life. These external signs are nothing but training wheels to help you get to a point where you’re fine without them. Where you know that you’re “good enough”.
Surrounding yourself with these trophies won’t undo whatever is causing you to constantly doubt yourself. But it will slowly erode the credibility of your negative self-talk.
One last note. There is another reminder you can use as proof of your abilities, and it’s simultaneously the easiest (because you always have it with you) and the hardest (because it took years to create): You.
You are a monument. You’re the final, undeniable evidence of the fact that you’re good enough, and that you’re gonna make it. Because even if you dislike pretty much everything about yourself and are convinced that there’s nothing to be proud of: You’re still here. You showed up every day. It might not have been easy, but you got this far. And with a dope monument like that, nothing’s gonna stop you.
