Eat that frog

Ever heard someone say “eat that frog”? If you haven’t, you’re probably suspecting me of being part of the French campaign to normalize their fetish for amphibian appetizers. Relax, it takes more than a couple of “once in a lifetime catastrophes” within 2 decades before I lose my shit like that. No offense to my French readers out there. Please don’t beat me up with weaponized baguettes. Not again.

Eat that frog refers to the practice of doing something you’d rather not be doing. Something equally valuable as it is repulsive. Like calling a potential customer. A horribly dated example btw. Cold calling in 2022? Who uses their phone for anything other than browsing Instagram? Hmm, then let’s go with the following instead: Eat the frog could mean putting away your electronic, social media-powered pacifier and finally writing the godforsaken essay you’ve been ignoring for weeks.

Nobody likes to do hard work. Don’t listen to those cold-shower-loving, wannabe entrepreneurs. It’s the results their after. If humans wanted to work their asses off regardless of whether they get a reward or not, we would all be teachers. Or Nurses. So glad people like these exist!

The secret to eating that frog is to get it done and over with. Hmm, I guess that applies to both the metaphorical as well as the real version... Anyway. try this:

What’s today's most impactful task? Chances are, you’d want to put it off, procrastinate, tell yourself it’s not that important after all... But this time, you don’t! Get it done asap. No excuses. Otherwise, I’ll find you, and I’ll force-feed you an actual frog!

Run with your pants down

Imagine this: You’re on a public toilet. And you mean business. Pants all the way down at your ankles. Then it starts. You hear grunts from the stall next to you. You’re disgusted at first, but as they become more and more grotesque, your fight or flight response kicks in. Suddenly the walls shake violently and some sort of brown sludge makes its way from the other stall ever closer to your feet. That’s it. You’ve had enough and you’re out of there.

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t take the time to properly pull my pants back up and neatly tighten that belt. Yank them up far enough not to trip, and off I go. Sure, someone might be able to tell that my grooming routine doesn’t stop at my armpits, but I’d rather risk some indecency as long as I make progress toward my goal: Getting away from the unfortunate victim of Taco Bells Taco Tuesday in the stall next to me.

In case this metaphor was a bit too obscure and hard to understand (like how Taco Bell manages to pass health inspections...):

If you have some goal in mind, a rough direction of where you want to go, don’t waste your time “getting ready”. Start running before you’re ready. You might stumble, fall face first and embarrass yourself in front of everyone. But who cares. Let them gossip. At least you’re a few - albeit clumsy - steps closer to the finish line, while they are still tying their shoes and debating on how to even get started.

You’re not your mom

The past 2 statements were lowkey dogmatic and therefore kinda toxic. Go do the thing you hate! Get started before you’re ready! Grind your way towards success! You better be useful, son!

While there is some merit to that, you’ll resent this kind of mindset one day. Nothing wrong with pushing yourself, but if this self-optimization craze fuelled by covert self-hatred (let’s be real) is the whole extent of your personality, you’re due for a harsh awakening.

Our parents' job was to make sure we’re not just enjoying the crap out of our childhood all day (which we’d hopefully do on our own, no parental indoctrination required) but to instill a few lessons which we’ll need to be functioning members of society. Like the value of hard work. And delayed gratification.

Once our parents no longer supervise our every move, it’s our turn to take over and keep listening to this - now internalized - nagging voice that keeps telling us to get our shit together and do whatever it is we’re supposed to be doing instead of just vibing non-stop. Don’t let this voice mutate and turn into some perverted, overly motivated drill sergeant. You’re in control now, free to ignore it every now and then, and do whatever feels right.

You probably had a hard time convincing your parents that all of that studying is pointless since straight A’s are “so not worth it and all that matters nowadays is killing it on social media”. One perk of adulthood: You can be the judge of that. Save the grind for when it truly matters, but coast along and take the route of least resistance when you can. No need to pull all-nighters, studying for a degree you’re not thrilled about. If you’d rather be doing something completely different (which will ideally also be able to support you financially), go for that! Once you’re an adult, no one will reward you for trying needlessly hard.

So to revise my previous statements:

Eat that frog, if it’s a frog worth eating.

Run with your pants down, or don’t. I’m not gonna tell you what to do with your life.

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