Goals

• Take a step back and assess whether your goals are in line with your needs
• Realign your goals with your needs

Introduction

We've all been there. Finding the time to write a novel is hard. So you come up with a plan: take a winter caretaker position at a secluded Hotel. You'll finally be able to focus on your writing. And relax a little with your family.

Fast forward: You get along splendidly with all those ghosts in the hotel. You even made out with one of them! She kinda turned old and ugly afterwards, but you blame it on your horrific kissing skills, happened before...

Fast forward some more: Having tried to kill your - as it turns out - fucking annoying family, they trick you and you find yourself freezing to death outside. And worst of all: You didn't get any writing done! Again, we've all been there, right?

But all of this could have been prevented if you second guessed whether spending the winter in a murder hotel will actually get your needs met. Such as feeling inspired to write a novel, and not murdering your family, maybe. They were annoying after all...

If you have the urge to call the cops, please do me a favour and watch "The Shining", it'll make more sense afterwards. And then call the cops. That whole reference was criminally bad anyway, I deserve to be locked up.

Now that we got the obligatory weird intro out the way: which article am I trying to get you to read this time? It's about goals and needs. More precisely: Are your goals actually aligned with your needs? Sometimes we're too busy getting things done to ask ourselves whether what we're building is a future we'll love, or just a useless, fancy gold plated mausoleum on top of our graves.

Not sure about your goals and needs? Start here!

Life goes on, whether you have a plan or not. You might not like where it takes you though, so you better have a few goals you're aiming for.

Read this if you have no idea what you want

If you can't choose, try the odyssey plan

And if you don't have a firm grasp on your core needs, try creating a map of needs.

What are you hoping to get?

Whether you have a vision sharp enough to make out the wrinkles on your face once you've achieved it, or just a few rough ideas of where you want to go, the next exercise will be helpful either way. Ask yourself where these goals are coming from. What's the motivation behind them?

I remember wanting to be a palaeontologist when I was in kindergarten. It was all I could think about, and the path was clear: finish school, go to university, study, and probably move to Vienna since it was the nearest city  that offered a masters in palaeontology. So to some degree, back when I wasn't even 6 years old, I had a plan for the next 20. Great, right? Well, not exactly. I failed to ask myself the question of "what are you hoping to get out of it" until about 17 years later. And since I'm not currently digging out some dinosaur bones and getting a lecture on chaos theory by Jeff Goldblum, you can probably already guess that my answer led me to abandon this path.

So ask yourself these questions, rather sooner than later:

What are you currently working towards? And most importantly: Why? What are you hoping to get out of it?

Be careful about these types of answers:

• "It's what I'm supposed to do". Don't let others dictate what you do with your life. They are eager to put their expectations on you, but when you inevitably discover it's not what makes you happy, they will deny any responsibility.
• "It makes a lot of money". Having money and being rich is nothing to be ashamed of. Money can buy you lot's of nice things and gives you crazy amounts of freedom in this society. You probably expected I'd want to talk you out of it, but fuck that. Just remember that money is a means to and end, so when going for it, ask yourself whether there might be a more direct route towards that end. You don't need to earn 6 figures to have a chill life after all.

Having achieved everything you set out to do, how will it feel like?

I'm a visual type. Both in a sense that I like to look at nice things (which is why I put headshots of Ryan Reynolds on all of my mirrors, such an improvement...), but also that I like to visualize my thought processes. Call-back to a previous article: the map of needs. This map will be extremely helpful, so if you haven't already, create one now! Global warming is gonna end us all, so you only have about 5 years left, better get your map before it's too late...

For all of your goals (and potential goals you might want to experiment with, but are not all in on yet), ask yourself these questions:

How will you feel while chasing this goal? How will your needs be impacted on the way towards it?

For instance creating a business on the side will probably mean you need to give up a few hobbies. Like stalking kids on Tik Tok for hours on end. Sorry to all the podophiles out there, life is hard, you can't have it all. Also: please seek help.

Having achieved your goals, which needs will be positively affected? And which ones might be neglected?

Better be honest and realistic with yourself on this one. Don't assume the momentary high of achieving certain goals will last. Imagine being where you want to be, and being used to it. How does it feel like? Which needs are met, and which ones aren't?

If you want be fancy like me, you can mark these outcomes on your map of needs. I'll keep mentioning it until the whole world carries them around in their pockets. Maps of needs everywhere!

What's the best way to get your needs met?

Why struggle to achieve your goals, if in the end, you won't be happier than the record holder for most sneezes in a day? (about 12000 times btw) But during the pandemic. Which as you might have guessed is not happy at all...

Our goals are typically motivated by a plethora of factors. Outside expectations, money, fame, opportunities, excitement, traditions, fears in disguise, revenge, the urge for world domination, and so on. Happiness is often shockingly low on that list.

Having thought about the impact of your hopes and dreams on your deepest and most important needs, ask yourself this:

What would be the best way to get your needs met? Are your current goals getting you closer to happiness?

Judging from my own experience, most of you out there will be dazzled and confused after going through these questions. You'll have "gained" a whole new level of uncertainty regarding your own journey. Heck, you might even want to tear apart that freaking map of needs (successfully mentioned it 7 times in one article!). Because how can your goals and your needs be so misaligned? Do you really need all those things? All you need is to never do one of those pesky reflection recipes ever again! They're spoiling all the fun you thought you'd have.

I get that. Uncertainty sucks. Spoiled plans suck. But you know what sucks even more? Becoming a palaeontologist only to discover that you'll rarely get to dig around in the dirt looking for dinosaur bones. Maybe you'll dig for chicken bones in the trash, cause you won't even make enough money to feed yourself, so you're hoping someone left a little meat on them...

And to the lucky few out there that leave this reflection with an even stronger sense of purpose and trust in their goals: Wanna take me for a ride on that high horse of yours? Nah just kidding, I'm happy for you.

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