Grab a friend (a stranger from the street will do as well, but it might need some convincing), take a couple of minutes, and go through the following questions together. But beware: You might end up crying. No shit: I was close to tears when I did this late last year during a coaching retreat. Shout out to Nathalie Spittler for introducing me to these powerful reflection prompts!
How to perform this reflection
It’s best to do this in person, as it will help both of you to open up and be vulnerable. I’m sure it can work over the phone as well. And there’s nothing wrong with doing these completely on your own if you prefer. I’d recommend doing it with a partner though, if possible.
One person will ask the questions and listen to the answers. Once you’ve gone through all of them, you switch roles. When it’s your turn to read the questions and listen to what the other person has to say, refrain from interrupting them, and try to not start a discussion yet. You can do that afterward, once both of you are done. But for now, one of you will talk, and the other one will listen. The only response you’re allowed to give until then is “Thanks for sharing this with me. Is there something you want to add?” If the answer is no, continue on to the next question.
Once both of you are done, feel free to have an open discussion and explore all topics that came up. If your experience is similar to mine, you’ll have a lot to talk about!
The questions
- When do you feel happy and satisfied?
- What is important to you when interacting with other people?
- Which values were held up high in your family? Has this influenced your own values?
- What does quality of life mean to you?
- What did you learn about your values by answering these questions?
