Goals

• Reframe the idea of new years resolutions
• Learn about a simple yet effective framework to set highly motivating goals for next year
• Read some of my personal goals, routines, and tricks I’ve gathered throughout the years. Yeah, I’m old.

Introduction

I want you to fail your new year's resolutions. Hear me out:

I’ve had years without any new year's resolutions. Those were fun. No need to “improve” yourself every year.

Then there were those years where I set lofty, stereotypical goals, and failed to even remember them 2 months in. As you can guess, I wasn’t necessarily proud of my achievements those years.

And finally, there are the years where I remembered my goals, brought my A-game on a daily basis, yet mostly failed to achieve what I had set out to do. Not because I couldn’t get it done, but because I realized I don’t want it anymore. I’m telling you, when you get closer and closer to a goal, have learned and grown like crazy, and you’re certain you could make it, but still decide to change course because you’ve discovered something new in the process and now you’ve set your eyes on a new dream that sparks even more joy than it’s predecessor, that’s when you’re making real progress. That’s why I want you to ultimately fail your new year's resolutions.

How to make new year's resolutions suck less

I’m honestly sick of toxic self-improvement bullshit. The type that tells you to man up, grind all day, forgo having fun with friends and that paints this picture of the ripped, enlightened, successful version of yourself which you can only become by purchasing their course or whatever. In many cases, this mindset will get you nowhere. Some people might make it till the end, only to realize they are feeling fucking miserable, despite all their achievements. If you set out to improve yourself because, in your current state, you are despicable and unworthy of love, success, or whatever it might be that you’re craving, then you’re gonna reinforce this notion.

I’m not saying self-improvement is pointless, or something to be avoided. Not at all. But let’s change perspective and look at new year's resolutions more like this: You made it through another year, awesome! Hopefully, it was a good one. But in any case: You get to experience another one. Are you happy with your life in general? Perfect! Then don’t mess it up by listening to anyone telling you you should strive for something greater in life. If, on the other hand, you’re feeling kinda meh about yourself, then I have good news: Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. But there’s a secret hack: You don’t have to eat the chocolates with nasty, bitter filling or bland dried fruits (who the hell actually likes these?!) if you just buy the boxes that only contain the ones you enjoy.

Don’t look at setting new year's resolutions like making up for not being “perfect”. Adopt the mindset of a kid in a candy store. New year's resolutions aren’t meant to be a punishment that you have to force yourself into. You don’t have to do them, you get to do them.

The framework I use when setting new year's resolutions is super simple. I’ve been inspired by lot’s of personal development gurus out there, but cut out all the crap and fluff I don’t care about, and what I was left with was this process:

For the major categories in your life, ask yourself where you want to be one year from now, and what you need to start/stop/continue doing to get there.

That’s it. The hard thing is sticking with it and putting in the work. We’ll talk about ways to make this easier in the upcoming weeks. Remember: you’re a kid in a candy store, free to choose whatever you desire. We can think about how you’re going to pay for it in a couple of weeks.

Below, you can find the first 4 categories to go through, as well as some personal examples of goals and actions I tried over the years. Take some time, go through these questions, and start to create the blueprint for another amazing year!

Health + Body

Imagine you are completely satisfied with your physical health one year from now. Describe what this means to you. How do you want to feel when it comes to your body?

What do you need to start doing to get your health and body to this level?

Which activities do you need to stop to get your health and body to this level?

What do you need to keep doing to get your health and body to this level?

Some personal examples:

• Try an elimination diet for a few weeks to make sure you don't have any underlying allergies or intolerances. Basically, you omit certain allergens (milk, soybeans, nuts, wheat, eggs, fish, etc) for a while and see how you feel. Better? Then you might want to avoid those food groups in the future.
• Exercising regularly. This is hands down one of the best habits you can adopt. I've been working out 6 days a week for about 4 years now. Getting started wasn't easy, but now it's my go-to expression of self-love. Regular exercise is the gift that keeps on giving!
• Meal prep. Cooking isn't just fun, but it grants you full control over every ingredient that ends up in your body. If you can get yourself to prepare your own meals, you might as well make them healthy (which btw doesn't mean they're not hella tasty!).
• Get yourself a standing desk. If you work at a desk most days, this makes a huge difference. Sitting around all day wreaks havoc on your body after a couple of years, you probably don't want that. At my previous job, I was known as the standing desk guy, cause I rarely ever sat down, and I kept that going to this day. It might be tough on your legs at first if you're not used to it, but standing causes you to be and feel much more active. Also, my lower back was fucked up a few years ago. Standing instead of sitting (or slouching if we're honest) paired with regular exercise made such a huge difference!
• Reduce or cut substances that have a negative impact on your health when consumed regularly. A few examples: alcohol, soda, added sugars, processed food, meat, or dairy. I've completely cut added sugars and alcohol from my diet for years now, and I don't see myself ever including them again. Trust me, life is just as great without them. Processed foods and meat have been reduced to a minimum thanks to my passion for cooking almost everything I eat myself.
• Sleep. Get that sorted out before anything else. 7-8 hours will be enough for most of you. The key is consistency. Both in the duration, as well as when you get in and out of bed. I’m telling you, waking up while you’re on a perfect sleep schedule is like you're in heaven! You open your eyes when it’s time to get up, and you feel like you can conquer the world! Unless you’ve got a day full of boring meetings ahead of you. That shit still sucks, unfortunately.
• Drink green tea. There have been multiple studies linking regular green tea consumption (3-5 cups a day) to decreased cancer rates, as well as an overall higher life expectancy. Take that with a grain of salt though, these findings were based on correlation, not causation. So there might be other factors causing these positive effects. And also: do your own research, I’m not a doctor. All I can say is that I’ve been drinking 1 liter of green tea with lemon juice almost every day for years, and I don’t plan on changing that.

Mental + Emotional

Imagine you are completely satisfied with your mental health one year from now. Describe what this means to you. What do you want your default emotional state to be like?

What do you need to start doing to get your mental and emotional state to this level?

Which activities do you need to stop to get your mental and emotional state to this level?

What do you need to keep doing to get your mental and emotional state to this level?

Some personal examples:

• Fucking start therapy immediately! If you think you might benefit, you will. If you're not sure, try it. Quitting after a couple of sessions is always an option. I'm am convinced the world would be immeasurably better off if we had the luxury of regular therapy sessions starting from Kindergarten.
• Try meditation. It's easy, anyone can do it, and it's so effective at reducing stress levels, regaining/reorienting focus, and reconnecting all those parts that make up your personality. Life is so much easier when they are in synch instead of going crazy on their own.
• Journaling. Similar to therapy and meditation, this habit is killer when it comes to uncovering tensions within your mind. It’s also somewhat soothing to take a couple of minutes each day to just let your thoughts run wild and put whatever is on your mind on a piece of paper.
• Morning/Evening reflections. Kinda like journaling light. Read more about it in a previous article. There’s also a list of questions to get you started!
• Digital detox. I just threw up in my mouth a little because this has become such a buzzword. But at its core, cutting down on screen time can be transformative. I recommend reading “Digital Minimalism” by Cal Newport. Great author, extremely actionable advice. 10/10.
• Cognitive training. Similar to working out your muscles to make them stronger, you can and probably should stimulate your brain regularly. Learning a new skill (such as a language or instrument), solving crossword puzzles (or regular puzzles), or memorizing a deck of cards, basically anything that requires a lot of focus. These are on my personal list for next year. So if you have any tips, let me know!

Mission + Purpose

Imagine you are living in tune with your mission and purpose one year from now. Describe what this means to you. Do you have something like a calling in life? What is it, and can you describe it in a few but powerful sentences?

What do you need to start doing to follow your personal mission in life? If you’re not sure about your purpose, what could you start doing to gain more clarity?

What do you need to stop doing to follow your personal mission in life? If you’re not sure about your purpose, what could you stop doing to gain more clarity?

What do you need to keep doing to follow your personal mission in life? If you’re not sure about your purpose, what should you keep doing to gain more clarity?

Some personal examples:

• Setting goals. Whether you have a tight grasp on your personal mission in life or not, regularly setting goals will either get you closer to it or help you gain more clarity. Seems like I wrote a couple of articles on that topic. What a weird coincidence... Odyssey Plan, Break down your Goals, Optimize your Job
• Regular reflections. Only one way to figure out what your purpose in life might be: Listen to yourself, and get serious about self-reflection. Here’s an intro to evening reflections.
• Trying new things. Go on a crazy adventure. Force yourself to do something you thought was not your cup of tea. Break free from your routines every now and then. Especially if you have no clue about what your mission might be.
• Start a mastermind group. Basically a bunch of like-minded individuals supporting each other in reaching their goals. Imagine having a group of friends simultaneously cheering you on, and giving you a kick in the butt whenever you need it. Another link to another article on that very topic. It’s beginning to feel like I’ve been doing this blog thing for a while now, judging from all those previous articles...
• Make time. There are 24 hours in a day, and there is no hack to add a single second to it, sorry. So to dedicate more time towards your mission, you’ll need to stop doing some of that other crap. Obligatory link to another helpful article.
• Work on personal projects. Especially those that are linked to your purpose, or figuring out whatever that might be. A few personal examples: I’ve created a board game, built myself a new kitchen from scratch, redone my balcony, bedroom, and office. Oh, and I started to write a blog.
• Task management. Once you freed up some time and started to put in the work, it might be a good idea to make sure you’re working on what matters most when it comes to making your mission a reality. Some form of task backlog and daily planning is essential for those with a chaotic mind like mine.

Growth + Learning

Imagine you’re extremely proud of all the things you’ve learned and all the ways in which you’ve grown one year from now. Describe what this means to you.

What do you need to start doing to reach these goals when it comes to personal growth and learning?

What do you need to stop doing to reach these goals when it comes to personal growth and learning?

What do you need to keep on doing to reach these goals when it comes to personal growth and learning?

Some personal examples:

• Learn an instrument. Or any other new skill for that matter. It helps if you’re passionate about it. I’ve played the violin for a while when I was a kid, and I kinda miss having an outlet for this type of creative energy. So this is definitely on my list for 2022. Do you have any recommendations on which instrument to learn, and how to best get started?
• Reading. Insert “Leaders are readers” and other inspirational phrases here. If you still need to be sold on the power of books, then no amount of motivational hype will do the trick. Grab a book and give it a chance, for your own sake. There’s unlimited knowledge and adventures in foreign worlds (both fictional and real) to be had. I’m currently reading “Deeper Dating” by Ken Page, among some other books. Funny personal anecdote: Harry Potter got me hooked when I was a kid, but I refused to read it for the longest time because of an article in a kid's magazine. There was a picture of a boy reading Harry Potter in it, and he had just the goofiest expression on his face. So I was convinced only weird kids read Harry Potter and avoided it like the plague. Little did I know, I turned out to be the weirdest of them all...
• Leave your comfort zone every now and then. The majority of learning happens when you’re not sure-footed yet. So regularly venture into unknown territory to push yourself. The details of which are highly personal. For me, a chill conversation with a hairdresser is awkward enough. Maybe you’d need to go for something more extreme though.
• New Experiences. In a similar vein to leaving your comfort zone, new experiences (which are allowed to be fun and well within your comfort zone) will make your life much richer. Sidenote: It will also slow down time. Well, at least your personal perception of time. I’m sure you’ve noticed how a typical, uneventful workweek feels like it went by in the blink of an eye. At least in retrospect. While you’re experiencing it, time might slow down to a crawl... Anyway, the same amount of time will feel like ages while you’re on vacation, going places and discovering something new around every corner. Again, at least in retrospect, once you revisit all those fun experiences in your memory. While you’re living them, they seem to go by way too quickly. Perception of time is fucking cruel, isn’t it?
• Learning and growing optimally is no easy task, especially given our primate brains that can’t seem to focus for more than an hour at a time. Unless it’s on something they shouldn’t focus on, like the next kick of dopamine on Tik Tok. And while there’s no way to change this on a fundamental level, there are routines you can incorporate to make the most of your cognitive potential each day. Using the Pomodoro technique for example. You’re basically committing yourself to 20-60 minute sprints of focused work time, interspersed with short and longer breaks every now and then. Google it, and apply it whenever you feel easily distracted but need to get shit done.

That’s it for now. Stay tuned for next week, when we’ll cover these categories in more detail:

• Experiences + Fun
• Partner + Love
• Friends
• Family
• Finances

Enjoy the holidays! See you then, bitches!

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